Sunday, November 15, 2015

A Heavy Heart

 A lot of terror and lose of life has happened this past Friday. As the world is globally coming together in mourning over the terrorist attacks on Paris my heart is heavy for my own little town and community. Don't get me wrong I feel for what has happened in Paris but tragedy also struck so close to home that day.

While me and my kids were waiting on our pizza to take home and enjoy with a movie, just a few blocks away a car full of Grant High Football players who were on they're way back to the high school for pre- game pep talk got shot at. The driver passed away and the front passenger sustained a gunshot wound to the arm. These young men our my son's high school peers. My heart breaks in a million pieces for the families and community in whole.

On Friday nights we can sit in our backyard and see the stadium lights glowing into the mist. You can feel the beat of the band as the drums pound away and echo through the streets. Play by plays can be heard you know which team is winning and whose making the plays. But as night rolled in on that Friday the 13th, there was only silence. A deafening silence felt to the core. The only vibe of the Grant Pacer's was on the news.

This shit happens all the time here! Just last week we got an automated call from the high school that a student was detained from walking on campus with a weapon in his backpack. Turns out it was a gun. He got caught with the gun, and mostly likely toted it around everyday until it was discovered. The youth around here have to be on alert every second because anything can happen at any given moment. These streets are taking our babies at a rapid rate no matter how they are raised in there homes.

I write and give the blogging community a slice of our life on our little urban homestead. But in all honestly once I hit the corner we're in a war zone . A war on drugs, gangs, junkies, authority figures, poverty, you name it......this is the ghetto. And yes I said authority meaning the cops jamming up my son , questioning him & running him through gang files when all he is doing is skateboarding with his boombox. The context of this post is all over the place, but to sum up my heavy heart ...... I've had enough! I'm at a lost, we can't move, we sure as hell cannot stay. So what am I or anybody in Del Paso Heights who wishes for a better tomorrow to do? 


  1. May the soul of the driver find peace, the same wish goes to his family.

    The world is full of terrible places... so many that every now and then is very hard not to stop, scream, and wish it all to hell. I live in a quiet neighborhood of New York City. But like you, I only have to walk a few blocks to reach the not so quiet areas. Fights, gunshots, and more fights seem to have become the norm.

    It's a bit sickening that things like guns in schools or people dying have become so common that the world is getting desensitized. I'm sure you've noticed I haven't written about Paris, or about how on Veteran's Day one of my best Marine Corps friends chose to not live anymore... Like you, I'm outraged and hurt... stuck between I don't want to see this and wanting to explode. It's one of the reasons why these last few days, couple of weeks, I guess... I've been summoning all the things that remind me that not all people or events suck. There are times when that is all we have, my sweet Holly.

    Sending you tight cyber-hugs... and remind you that as long as we can do something as normal as catch a movie with our children, as long as we show our hurt on behalf of others and ourselves, and as long as we remember that not everything and everyone is rotten, there is hope.


  2. Scout the internet for different places to live. What kind of work does your husband do? Start by finding where he can get work. Then look at housing. Small towns usually work out well. Housing is low because if town is small enough people move out to be closer to WalMart etc. You should be much safer in small town. Life is also somewhat boring there unless you go to the corner church or store. But the kids can help in a small garden, they might not like it but they will be safe. You can plant a few flowers and buying all groceries on sale by looking at flyers before you buy will help to make the move possible. Many of these homes can be rent to own if you talk to the owner. Just ideas. I wish the very best for you.

  3. I'm so sorry Holly..
    It's such a terrible time.
    I used to live in that environment...Hell, I grew up in that environment!
    our house was sandwiched between ex convicts on one side and a house that sold weapons on the other.
    The helicopter was so common place that I sometimes didn't hear it at first, even when it was right over our house.
    Luckily I was given a chance to leave that nightmare.
    It's all so frustrating.
    I'm wishing you the very best, Holly.... sending prayers and big hugs.



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