Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Sipping On Truth Elixer

It has come to my attention by my  daughters that I do not keep it real on my blog. Everything you see is real but at an edited version of myself. It's that small girl wanting to be polite and lovely so people will like her. Seriously at 37 I still can't get over that nice Holly image I throw out there. Don't get me wrong I can be as sweet as pie when I want to. So I'm going to lay down some truths and it will reveal how real my blog will be from now on.

1.  I live in the Ghetto, it has been referred to as the deepest part of hell. Traveling to the coast is a great relief to get the family out of the hood and into a different scenery for awhile. My yard is nice but a few streets over are hookers, tweaks and lost teenagers trying to figure out life in all the wrong ways. My sons high school is straight out of Freedom Riders and Dangerous Minds. We would move if we could but money is the obstacle that holds us back.

2.  I cuss, even at my kids. Anger and  my over all chalingo has me saying some pretty colorful phrases that makes squeaky clean Moms break their necks in Walmart lines and shoot me the death stare  ( don't ever try to patronize a witch with you glare honeys you don't want me to look into yours). Bumping gangsta rap while dropping off kids at school is common. Tupac is my favorite poet.

3.  I'm a medical marijuana patient. Bipolar depression and  nerve damage due to TIA strokes has me finding holistic relief with CBD & THC. Now that is what I call reefer madness. I do get some shit about this from people but my kids are relieved that their Mom can have a drop of oil or an edible that will take me from wanting to no longer be on earth to being a compassionate functional parent. Worry not I am responsible with this and will suffer through the day with pain until I know I won't have to drive someone somewhere.

4.  Can you come out and play? Most time it's a no, I'm an introvert. I've missed out on many family functions and don't visit friends, but sometimes I just cannot go out of the house or be around people. Phone conversations are hard. In public I will not speak until spoken to and with my perky nose this has people thinking I'm stuck up!

5.  Oh the wrath that happens if you put the dishes away other than there designated spots or the towels aren't hung straight. That's right I have the affliction of O.C.D. The house is usually tidy and if I get an unexpected visitor this throws me into panic mode.

 So now you know Gypsy Spirit Rising isn't all sunshine and rainbows, and everyday is a struggle one way or another. I'm awakening in all aspects of my life and the rawness of what it's really like from my end of things is something that doesn't need to be tucked away and hidden as if it's an ugly shame. I'm unapologetic because my humanness is showing.

"Capturing Peace"

P.S. Sipping on truth elixer is a metaphor not a drinking reference, that is one demon I have been able to conquer.


  1. I know what you mean, Holly. The girls want a positive blog, and I get that because it's so messy out there in the world, but sometimes I write my thoughts, and it's not always positive.....because things just happen and life is hard sometimes. I'm not around a lot of people either, and I try to run errands early in the morning. And when hard times surface in our lives, you will then know who your true friends are. I'm sorry you're in pain sometimes throughout the day. I cuss too now and then, and have to watch myself with that haha. It sounds like your daughters love their mama and want you to be real on your blog, but I can understand your feelings as well cause you still want to be kind and lovely, and that's one of the best things we can offer the world.

    Thank you for sharing yourself with us, Holly. You are a beautiful soul, and one that I appreciate knowing in blog land.

    Keep smiling, from one Gypsy to another.

    love, ~Sheri

    ps.....your writing is truly eloquent lately and your words tell a picture vividly in my heart.

  2. Oh darling, just keep the truth coming if you want and need to! Nothing you wrote scares or even surprises me. It is great to hear other struggling people's real stories, when so much out there is just fake.

    I am sorry about the money situation though. It must be aeons tougher raising a family in the ghetto than in the suburbs. But you are all finding your way.


  3. Well, I like all the bits of you. The ones you share openly and the ones that go between the lines, in your effort to protect others. Know that anyone truly looking would see it... if they care to really pay attention--you've told us of the incident in your children's school, you've hinted at how it's nice getting out because things aren't always safe around where you live, you are thrifty (like moi) most likely because you've had to teach yourself to make the money go long... You are real, let your babes know I said that. It's just that sometimes our realities might make other people hurt, so goodhearted souls like you try to give others what they can handle.

    We need all kinds of sorts in the world, in order to make it world. You sneak in your reality between the lines of your trips and such, I shout it in my poetry. It works for us. It is good.

  4. Yes, we all tend to sanitize our lives because we know most people don't want to here the truth. I mean who goes searching to read other peoples complaints. Thank you for bein honest. I am OCD myself when it comes to my house; however, having neighbors pop by doesn't bother me because I know my house is cleaner than 99% of everyone else out there. Glad you are able to find some relief for your pain.

  5. Holly, thanks for sharing you! Nothing you wrote scares me! I try to be as real as I can on my blog. My mom and brother are on medical weed. I have to admit, when Canada makes it legal next year, I think I will be having some too. I have dealt with so much negativity in my life! But, enough about me! Know, we appreciate and love you, for who you are!

  6. Hey Holly, I sometimes worry about how 'real' or not I should or shouldn't get with my blog. It's not exactly easy to let the mask fall away and let people see deeper, which is why I like your post so much.

    I've thought about trying medical marijuana. I don't like how sluggish pain pills and muscle relaxers make me feel. I don't like how they tear up my stomach either. I stopped taking them a few years ago but there are days I wish I still had them.

    I think it is great that you and your husband take your kids on vacations and to the coast. A lot of kids don't get that in life. A lot of kids also don't get the real world view of a parent struggling with pain and depression and seeing the strength it takes to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other. I think seeing you will help them face things in their own lives.

    LOL, there's nothing wrong with a little wrath, cussing, or being an introvert.

  7. Also, I've been told I have resting bitch face

  8. All the more reasons to create your own beautiful reality...

  9. You made me Smile by keeping it 100%... I can relate in so many ways to the daily struggle and frankly creating your own Beautiful Reality is something we all indulge in for the Sanity of it! I have Dark Dawn as well, each of us has our Dark Side, sometimes I try to get some of the uptight Pretentious ones to come on over to the Dark Side here in Subdivision Hell, they are resisting... in The Hood it was so much easier becoz everyone kept it Real! *Winks*



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